








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 692 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4589 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1751 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3153 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,235,454 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ptn | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | sly | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Sharpiee | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | skamtebord | 49% | 84 |
| #5 | AbideSam | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TreyBoxEars | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | KgnFortuna | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | skamtebord | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | TheValkyrie | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ptn | 4 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skamtebord | 618 | 0.37 | 16 min |
| #2 | TreyBoxEars | 479 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | KgnFortuna | 149 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ptn | 122 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sharpiee | 122 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skamtebord | +4.87 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | sly | +3.87 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | AbideSam | +3.63 | 87 | 65 |
| #4 | ptn | +2.59 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | Sharpiee | +1.17 | 64 | 62 |





