








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 30 | 24% |
| Smokes | 35 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 39 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $43,446 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sexgod | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | AbideSam | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | skamtebord | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | TheValkyrie | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | KgnFortuna | 33% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skamtebord | 164 | 0.42 | 4 min |
| #2 | TEABAGN WAGON | 156 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | sexgod | 45 | 0.49 | 1 min |
| #4 | TreyBoxEars | 43 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | KgnFortuna | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sexgod | +10.10 | 74 | 77 |
| #2 | skamtebord | +5.85 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | AbideSam | +4.88 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | KgnFortuna | +1.98 | 66 | 39 |
| #5 | TreyBoxEars | +0.23 | 48 | 59 |





