








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 432 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1641 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1961 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,894 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEHYDRATED WATER | 52% | 83 |
| #2 | GossipMage | 51% | 95 |
| #3 | Last pick or random | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | GHOST | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | ||CLASH|| | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GHOST | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | ||CLASH|| | 46% | 48 |
| #6 | Anubhav | 44% | 153 |
| #7 | Beast_master67 | 42% | 62 |
| #8 | Guzma!! | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GossipMage | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Beast_master67 | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | DEHYDRATED WATER | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ||CLASH|| | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Anubhav | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anubhav | 385 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Guzma!! | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Beast_master67 | 169 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | GossipMage | 161 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | DEHYDRATED WATER | 130 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beast_master67 | +3.39 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | Last pick or random | +2.04 | 37 | 60 |
| #3 | Anubhav | +1.05 | 49 | 57 |
| #4 | DEHYDRATED WATER | +0.15 | 22 | 54 |
| #5 | ||CLASH|| | -0.26 | 32 | 37 |





