








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 602 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6366 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6250 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5965 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3704 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,379,236 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Last pick or random | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | Akinvi | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | DEHYDRATED WATER | 47% | 126 |
| #4 | Beast_master67 | 46% | 198 |
| #5 | ||CLASH|| | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beast_master67 | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | ||CLASH|| | 15 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | DEHYDRATED WATER | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | GossipMage | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Clash | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beast_master67 | 495 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | DEHYDRATED WATER | 202 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | GossipMage | 199 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Akinvi | 173 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | No skills only KS | 172 | 0.05 | 4 min |





