








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4420 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1898 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2731 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1857 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,685,284 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnt the Bean | 56% | 211 |
| #2 | Milk | 56% | 88 |
| #3 | Noname | 55% | 208 |
| #4 | Noname | 54% | 349 |
| #5 | 100T in 4 | 52% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Noname | 55% | 208 |
| #4 | Noname | 54% | 349 |
| #5 | 100T in 4 | 52% | 110 |
| #6 | falcone | 50% | 80 |
| #7 | Noname | 50% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | falcone | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Noname | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Noname | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Burnt the Bean | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnt the Bean | 438 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | Noname | 385 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Noname | 259 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | 100T in 4 | 71 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | falcone | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +2.11 | 78 | 9 |
| #2 | Burnt the Bean | +1.39 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | falcone | +1.20 | 84 | 24 |
| #4 | Dr. Rick Marshall | +0.70 | 81 | 46 |
| #5 | Noname | +0.11 | 69 | 37 |





