








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 709 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9103 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10430 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8206 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7595 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,705,571 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | naz | 48% | 279 |
| #6 | Fuze | 45% | 117 |
| #7 | KP | 45% | 308 |
| #8 | hallssy | 45% | 260 |
| #9 | Zim | 43% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naz | 31 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | hallssy | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | KP | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Zim | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | r a t t l e d | 7 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naz | 868 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | r a t t l e d | 641 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Zim | 638 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | KP | 613 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #5 | hallssy | 461 | 0.08 | 11 min |





