








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1533 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2315 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2952 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1388 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,449 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madlibs | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | naz | 51% | 112 |
| #3 | KP | 51% | 162 |
| #4 | r a t t l e d | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | hallssy | 48% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KP | 51% | 162 |
| #4 | r a t t l e d | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | hallssy | 48% | 214 |
| #6 | Zim | 47% | 110 |
| #7 | Kappatengu | 45% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hallssy | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | naz | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | KP | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Kappatengu | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Zim | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hallssy | 369 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Zim | 341 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | naz | 336 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | KP | 298 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Kappatengu | 280 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naz | +4.33 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | KP | +2.28 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Kappatengu | +0.47 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | Zim | -0.19 | 43 | 63 |
| #5 | Madlibs | -1.08 | 59 | 59 |





