








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1588 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1174 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1424 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1239 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,534 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wompwomp | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | Chezborger | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | JRatio | 57% | 161 |
| #4 | Portal | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | cya | 53% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JRatio | 57% | 161 |
| #4 | Portal | 54% | 94 |
| #5 | cya | 53% | 244 |
| #6 | Duck | 43% | 40 |
| #7 | Kado | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cya | 27 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | JRatio | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kado | 7 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | Duck | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Chezborger | 3 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cya | 658 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | JRatio | 315 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Duck | 185 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kado | 117 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chezborger | 62 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chezborger | +5.35 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | cya | +2.97 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | Kado | +2.31 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | JRatio | +1.59 | 73 | 41 |
| #5 | wompwomp | -0.16 | 44 | 37 |





