








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 205 | 19% |
| Smokes | 293 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 286 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,336 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wompwomp | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | JRatio | 62% | 115 |
| #3 | cya | 59% | 109 |
| #4 | Chezborger | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | HotSauceRazor | 54% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cya | 59% | 109 |
| #4 | Chezborger | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | HotSauceRazor | 54% | 94 |
| #6 | Duck | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Kado | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cya | 20 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | HotSauceRazor | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | JRatio | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Chezborger | 5 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | Kado | 4 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cya | 307 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | HotSauceRazor | 241 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | JRatio | 238 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kado | 100 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Duck | 55 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chezborger | +3.80 | 63 | 44 |
| #2 | Kado | +2.98 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | JRatio | +2.84 | 72 | 38 |
| #4 | cya | +2.82 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | wompwomp | +0.06 | 61 | 45 |





