








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1153 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 972 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $106,418 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWorks | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Machine -E- #RtP | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | H a v o c | 85% | 13 |
| #4 | supersleeper9876 | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | laundry | 78% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zzyor | 75% | 4 |
| #8 | reflexx | 75% | 8 |
| #9 | Tarus | 75% | 8 |
| #10 | GODichella | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | BROJVHS | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H a v o c | 7 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | AWorks | 3 | 0.0326 |
| #3 | laundry | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Tarus | 1 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | zzyor | 1 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laundry | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | H a v o c | 50 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | AWorks | 36 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| #4 | GODichella | 31 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | BROJVHS | 22 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tarus | +5.27 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | rahley | +2.66 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | Lexon | +2.64 | 99 | 60 |
| #4 | H a v o c | +2.51 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | Machine -E- #RtP | +2.10 | 85 | 54 |





