








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1750 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1237 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1373 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,428 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rutles | 24 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | 76561198148706246 | 17 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Yoriichi Tsugikuni | 14 | 0.0187 |
| #4 | Squirrel | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | balkanrage | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rutles | 308 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | 76561198148706246 | 230 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Yoriichi Tsugikuni | 151 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | balkanrage | 84 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Squirrel | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |





