








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2799 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1974 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1496 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1127 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,639 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mo0n | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | isak deez | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Basick | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | Opsje | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | friDaN- | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Basick | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | Opsje | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | friDaN- | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Sakuta | 53% | 115 |
| #7 | EpX | 48% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EpX | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Sakuta | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Basick | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | friDaN- | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Opsje | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Opsje | 358 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | EpX | 261 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sakuta | 227 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | mo0n | 205 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | Basick | 151 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basick | +2.22 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | -TLx- | +1.82 | 91 | 56 |
| #3 | isak deez | +0.96 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | friDaN- | +0.93 | 88 | 49 |
| #5 | mo0n | +0.08 | 74 | 72 |





