








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 10% |
| Smokes | 537 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 807 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 787 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,877 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zalman | 21 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ⭐Bent!n⭐ | 10 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Kong Karry | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Daddy^ | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Vucix | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zalman | 621 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kong Karry | 394 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Doktor Krollspell | 185 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ⭐Bent!n⭐ | 161 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | General Tapioca | 122 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zalman | +1.38 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | V1VER | +1.20 | 64 | 16 |
| #3 | Daddy^ | +1.07 | 70 | 34 |
| #4 | Kong Karry | +0.79 | 69 | 70 |
| #5 | Maksi333 | +0.71 | 91 | 32 |





