








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,251 | |
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1894 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1515 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,819 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SotaJimmy | 85% | 26 |
| #2 | starlight | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | Shmuel | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | hanski:PP | 68% | 41 |
| #5 | Vilzs | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vilzs | 64% | 25 |
| #6 | JimmyN😎 | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | ape | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | venkula | 41% | 29 |
| #9 | veLeg,^^ | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ape | 6 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | hanski:PP | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | venkula | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | SotaJimmy | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Vilzs | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SotaJimmy | 131 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | hanski:PP | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | veLeg,^^ | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | venkula | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ape | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starlight | +3.35 | 77 | 53 |
| #2 | 777 | +2.54 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | veLeg,^^ | +2.38 | 85 | 49 |
| #4 | SotaJimmy | +2.08 | 70 | 47 |
| #5 | hanski:PP | +1.94 | 79 | 61 |





