








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2455 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2306 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4278 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4624 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,104 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Admiral Achmed | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | nikko_ks | 62% | 82 |
| #3 | Illum <3 | 62% | 100 |
| #4 | Opern1x | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | Schnnop | 56% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pound Hound | 646 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Illum <3 | 215 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jesus | 209 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Schnnop | 174 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | phra1z ✪ | 127 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | +5.92 | 83 | 81 |
| #2 | Opern1x | +3.81 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Illum <3 | +2.75 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | Schnnop | +1.99 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | phra1z ✪ | +1.83 | 72 | 56 |





