








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 383 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3985 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5748 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5848 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5920 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,669,630 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bloggbuster | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | Stephan | 51% | 170 |
| #3 | deadinside | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | ♔Tim † | 50% | 176 |
| #5 | Hupfers Harddl | 50% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stephan | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ♔Tim † | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | lecker Bierchen enjoyer | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | nouz | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Hupfers Harddl | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lecker Bierchen enjoyer | 1654 | 0.35 | 41 min |
| #2 | Hupfers Harddl | 776 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | ✪ Gessli | 573 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #4 | ♔Tim † | 351 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Marc | 350 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadinside | +3.62 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | lecker Bierchen enjoyer | +2.67 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | Marc | +2.12 | 71 | 82 |
| #4 | ✪ Gessli | +1.20 | 64 | 78 |
| #5 | Stephan | +1.07 | 76 | 59 |





