








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1082 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 393 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1182 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1577 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1110 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,180 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | raisu | 9 | 0.0249 |
| #2 | Toyota Man | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | KEBU | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | fox | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | kahjotyyppi | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kahjotyyppi | 180 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ditt marmor | 101 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | CLEDOSBURGLAR | 93 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dany | 88 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Toyota Man | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |





