








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1011 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 450 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,007 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5177 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4379 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6374 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5077 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,408,862 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharkTARES | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | MichaelAirS | 51% | 78 |
| #3 | Fuckenmann | 50% | 142 |
| #4 | inFAMOUS™ | 49% | 109 |
| #5 | primo™ | 47% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GameConductor | 797 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | dNS' | 706 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | Goosi | 381 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | primo™ | 359 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | sharkTARES | 298 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MichaelAirS | +3.01 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | GameConductor | +1.40 | 74 | 84 |
| #3 | inFAMOUS™ | +1.29 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | vitjaa | +0.83 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | luke | +0.57 | 67 | 62 |





