








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2759 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1858 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1963 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,946 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bot Blyat | 50% | 50 |
| #2 | シモン | 𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 | 49% | 160 |
| #3 | костолом | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | niX | 44% | 117 |
| #5 | MikE | 39% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | シモン | 𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 | 49% | 160 |
| #3 | костолом | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | niX | 44% | 117 |
| #5 | MikE | 39% | 174 |
| #6 | Maxiele | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niX | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | MikE | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | シモン | 𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Maxiele | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ✪ Bot Blyat | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シモン | 𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 | 426 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | MikE | 248 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | niX | 235 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Bot Blyat | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Maxiele | 53 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niX | +1.47 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | ✪ Bot Blyat | +0.46 | 58 | 54 |
| #3 | костолом | +0.35 | 50 | 49 |
| #4 | シモン | 𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 | +0.26 | 63 | 77 |
| #5 | MikE | -0.22 | 56 | 47 |





