








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1936 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2222 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1964 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1688 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,468 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ John Fick βͺ | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | ΠΊΠΎΡΡΠΎΠ»ΠΎΠΌ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Maxiele | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | γγγ°γ»γγγγ | 4$Y | 49% | 160 |
| #5 | βͺ Bot Blyat | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Maxiele | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | γγγ°γ»γγγγ | 4$Y | 49% | 160 |
| #5 | βͺ Bot Blyat | 45% | 44 |
| #6 | niX | 45% | 94 |
| #7 | MikE | 41% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niX | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | MikE | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | γγγ°γ»γγγγ | 4$Y | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ΠΊΠΎΡΡΠΎΠ»ΠΎΠΌ | 5 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | Maxiele | 4 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niX | 203 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | MikE | 155 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | γγγ°γ»γγγγ | 4$Y | 127 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | βͺ Bot Blyat | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ΠΊΠΎΡΡΠΎΠ»ΠΎΠΌ | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niX | +1.36 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | ΠΊΠΎΡΡΠΎΠ»ΠΎΠΌ | +0.67 | 54 | 46 |
| #3 | γ·γ’γ³ | π’π²πΆπΈπ· | +0.45 | 64 | 77 |
| #4 | βͺ John Fick βͺ | +0.32 | 60 | 53 |
| #5 | MikE | -0.37 | 55 | 48 |





