








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 942 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




198 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6494 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2568 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4616 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2908 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,874 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3717 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Breezy3K | 46% | 119 |
| #8 | Zaza_King_ | 43% | 77 |
| #9 | XineOhp | 38% | 52 |
| #10 | Colde | 36% | 81 |
| #11 | BraidedAnalHair1999 | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breezy3K | 64 | 0.0269 |
| #2 | Lep | 42 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Colde | 28 | 0.0174 |
| #4 | Joshos | 23 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Zaza_King_ | 20 | 0.0131 |





