








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6276 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7518 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6455 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6572 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,383,086 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLick*. | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | AK-40ozGOD | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Non-Toxic Paint | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | Flu | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLick*. | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | AK-40ozGOD | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Non-Toxic Paint | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | Flu | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLick*. | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | AK-40ozGOD | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK-40ozGOD | 381 | 0.44 | 11 min |
| #2 | Non-Toxic Paint | 263 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #3 | sLick*. | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Flu | 102 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK-40ozGOD | +2.11 | 79 | 76 |
| #2 | ⓕ1ⓩⓩas | +0.70 | 61 | 76 |
| #3 | sLick*. | -0.15 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | Non-Toxic Paint | -2.08 | 19 | 64 |
| #5 | Flu | -2.97 | 29 | 64 |





