








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3043 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3733 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2359 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4470 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,226,991 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RyGuy | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | Skrunk | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | busE | 51% | 99 |
| #4 | odb | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Mav | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RyGuy | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | Skrunk | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | busE | 51% | 99 |
| #4 | odb | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Mav | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | busE | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Skrunk | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | RyGuy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Mav | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | odb | 161 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | busE | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Skrunk | 137 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | RyGuy | 99 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mav | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TashTash | +2.21 | 88 | 54 |
| #2 | Mav | +1.22 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | Skrunk | +0.71 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | odb | +0.35 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | busE | -1.09 | 59 | 54 |





