










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 209 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1740 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2654 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2283 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,093 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 758 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z1N Patritow | 48% | 97 |
| #2 | Everglades | JACK3D | 48% | 159 |
| #3 | fiskenet | 46% | 175 |
| #4 | Darkness | 45% | 165 |
| #5 | asd | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Everglades | JACK3D | 48% | 159 |
| #3 | fiskenet | 46% | 175 |
| #4 | Darkness | 45% | 165 |
| #5 | asd | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everglades | JACK3D | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | fiskenet | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everglades | JACK3D | 651 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | fiskenet | 393 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Darkness | 124 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | Z1N Patritow | 110 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 83 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everglades | JACK3D | +1.23 | 69 | 83 |
| #2 | Grilled cheese | +0.63 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Darkness | -0.04 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | fiskenet | -0.26 | 84 | 59 |
| #5 | Z1N Patritow | -1.22 | 79 | 60 |





