








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 772 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6279 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4925 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5623 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4435 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,240 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RozenGT | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Grilled cheese | 48% | 159 |
| #3 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | MR. R1nglerツ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Z1N Patritow | 47% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | MR. R1nglerツ | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | Z1N Patritow | 47% | 93 |
| #6 | fiskenet | 45% | 128 |
| #7 | Darkness | 44% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | MR. R1nglerツ | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Grilled cheese | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Z1N Patritow | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grilled cheese | 295 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | fiskenet | 285 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | HOMSERIDDEREN | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Z1N Patritow | 96 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Darkness | 93 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everglades | JACK3D | +1.88 | 69 | 81 |
| #2 | Grilled cheese | +0.37 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Darkness | -0.30 | 79 | 54 |
| #4 | fiskenet | -0.42 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | MR. R1nglerツ | -0.58 | 68 | 70 |





