








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1307 | 29% |
| Smokes | 763 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 820 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $237,555 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikke | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | möylä | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Topzuqt | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | V1zaa | 62% | 66 |
| #5 | 1le | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r0baaa | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | V1zaa | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | möylä | 6 | 0.0300 |
| #4 | 1le | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Nikke | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1zaa | +3.34 | 89 | 45 |
| #2 | 1le | +1.17 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Topzuqt | +1.14 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | HePuu | +0.06 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | r0baaa | -0.32 | 76 | 80 |





