








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
64 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 71 | 29% |
| Smokes | 67 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 42 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 68 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,310 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ SinK | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Krogsen | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Fallisッ | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | No1r | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | >.< | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Krogsen | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Fallisッ | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | No1r | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | >.< | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | sekvi | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ SinK | 11 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #2 | >.< | 11 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #3 | sekvi | 8 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #4 | Krogsen | 6 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fallisッ | 3 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ SinK | +6.62 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | No1r | +3.41 | 94 | 17 |
| #3 | sekvi | -0.30 | 73 | 83 |
| #4 | Krogsen | -0.99 | 86 | 79 |
| #5 | Raven | -2.00 | 81 | 65 |





