








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 878 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 533 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5622 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5052 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5953 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2293 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,053,354 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Pipe, PhD | 58% | 142 |
| #2 | genghiz | 52% | 250 |
| #3 | Dug | 49% | 239 |
| #4 | Canadian Maple | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Pipe, PhD | 58% | 142 |
| #2 | genghiz | 52% | 250 |
| #3 | Dug | 49% | 239 |
| #4 | Canadian Maple | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dug | 26 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | genghiz | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Dr. Pipe, PhD | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Canadian Maple | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | genghiz | 843 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Dug | 418 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dr. Pipe, PhD | 362 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | Canadian Maple | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dug | +3.13 | 56 | 59 |
| #2 | genghiz | +0.70 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | ASketchyLlama | -0.83 | 38 | 53 |
| #4 | Dr. Pipe, PhD | -1.14 | 58 | 47 |
| #5 | Canadian Maple | -2.97 | 35 | 52 |





