








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5153 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5260 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3526 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2502 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,515,307 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Google | 56% | 39 |
| #9 | BBear | 56% | 36 |
| #10 | naitou | 48% | 80 |
| #11 | 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔰 | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Haku | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haku | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Doomjo | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | naitou | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | BBear | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 | 231 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Doomjo | 168 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | Google | 144 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Haku | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔰 | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doomjo | +5.29 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | today is your lucky day | +4.63 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | acelelelelele | +3.87 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 | +3.82 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔰 | +2.66 | 72 | 73 |





