








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1504 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1327 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1068 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 918 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,337 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hackermano | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | ᴥ Maffe Godᴥ | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Cryphtic | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | krullekoppie | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Jinxed | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duck | 20 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Acrysto | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Cryphtic | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | krullekoppie | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Jinxed | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Acrysto | 186 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | krullekoppie | 135 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Duck | 122 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jinxed | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cryphtic | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myrenn | +2.30 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | ᴥ Maffe Godᴥ | +1.04 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | Acrysto | +0.49 | 48 | 72 |
| #4 | Cryphtic | -0.15 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Duck | -0.22 | 60 | 33 |





