








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4136 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3889 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5337 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5800 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $764,522 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Jinxed | 49% | 139 |
| #11 | delt@steve | 44% | 41 |
| #12 | 月花 | 43% | 21 |
| #13 | Myrenn | 43% | 80 |
| #14 | Cryphtic | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duck | 26 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | ᴥ Maffe Godᴥ | 6 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Jinxed | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Donk's baby boi | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Cryphtic | 5 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~/AK+MONKEY | 270 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Myrenn | 214 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jinxed | 212 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Duck | 131 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | krullekoppie | 128 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 月花 | +5.15 | 77 | 34 |
| #2 | Winnie Woo | +4.63 | 81 | 41 |
| #3 | Donk's baby boi | +4.07 | 82 | 29 |
| #4 | ~/AK+MONKEY | +2.44 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | Myrenn | +1.58 | 66 | 58 |





