








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2128 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3123 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2775 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2021 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2104 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,674 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [UDv] iTzGhosT csgobig.com | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Fr0zT- | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | TheFunkyHomosapien | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | maooo | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Victus | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chap | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | mzRmeister | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | iLL0 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Victus | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | TheFunkyHomosapien | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mzRmeister | 612 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | chap | 442 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | iLL0 | 317 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Smeggy | 253 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Victus | 77 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mzRmeister | +2.18 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | maooo | +1.41 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | [UDv] iTzGhosT csgobig.com | +1.38 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | Victus | +1.00 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | chap | +0.47 | 78 | 65 |





