








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3895 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2859 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2831 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1907 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2670 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,726 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stwabewwi | 52% | 184 |
| #2 | Dr Balls | 51% | 316 |
| #3 | Epic | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | IXPotterXI ™ | 48% | 94 |
| #5 | Chish | 46% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stwabewwi | 52% | 184 |
| #2 | Dr Balls | 51% | 316 |
| #3 | Epic | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | IXPotterXI ™ | 48% | 94 |
| #5 | Chish | 46% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Balls | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Stwabewwi | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | IXPotterXI ™ | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Chish | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Balls | 942 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | Stwabewwi | 723 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | IXPotterXI ™ | 426 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | Epic | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chish | 25 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count Cumula | +3.01 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | Dr Balls | +0.98 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Epic | +0.24 | 50 | 52 |
| #4 | Stwabewwi | -0.91 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | IXPotterXI ™ | -1.20 | 51 | 68 |





