








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1547 | 40% |
| Smokes | 546 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,166 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seNcha | 17 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | EXE kaimu | 12 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | touka | 10 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | twaiszy | 7 | 0.0556 |
| #5 | FolliN | 3 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain Lupin | 137 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | touka | 124 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | U l t r a M i n t | 105 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | EXE kaimu | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | twaiszy | 87 | 0.69 | 1 min |





