








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4254 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4106 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1398 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1957 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,744 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FullTimeGarbage | 43% | 361 |
| #4 | RardedRacc | 42% | 335 |
| #5 | Stretched Cavity | 42% | 346 |
| #6 | Bo Cooter | 38% | 191 |
| #7 | BALLS IN MY FACE | 36% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FullTimeGarbage | 18 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Bo Cooter | 18 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Stretched Cavity | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Frostii | 14 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | RardedRacc | 8 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALLS IN MY FACE | 660 | 0.47 | 16 min |
| #2 | FullTimeGarbage | 631 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | Stretched Cavity | 515 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | RardedRacc | 454 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #5 | Frostii | 344 | 0.17 | 9 min |





