








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2303 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1792 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1620 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,598 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BucK | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Endless ✞ | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Harmony | 57% | 54 |
| #4 | Spaery | 52% | 94 |
| #5 | Starfy | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Str1ke | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Awsome | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Gipsy Danger | 36% | 36 |
| #10 | rem | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | kam <3 (awoooogaaa) | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xdshooter007 | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Spaery | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | kam <3 (awoooogaaa) | 4 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Harmony | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Starfy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaery | 429 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Xdshooter007 | 251 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | BucK | 133 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #4 | Harmony | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Awsome | 102 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endless ✞ | +1.93 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | Awsome | +1.28 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | Harmony | +1.18 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Sedare | +0.51 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | rem | +0.26 | 73 | 59 |





