








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 789 | 36% |
| Smokes | 707 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 136 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 583 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $109,608 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Roidrage10 | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | Vizat | 47% | 60 |
| #7 | Bernd Ottovord | 46% | 50 |
| #8 | cabe | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | TazBerg | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vizat | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Bernd Ottovord | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Peaches | 4 | 0.0421 |
| #4 | Kilo | 3 | 0.0226 |
| #5 | cabe | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernd Ottovord | 200 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | cabe | 127 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vizat | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | TazBerg | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Roidrage10 | 38 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kilo | +5.31 | 50 | 29 |
| #2 | Vizat | +1.75 | 81 | 45 |
| #3 | Peaches | +1.06 | 77 | 48 |
| #4 | TazBerg | +0.95 | 75 | 35 |
| #5 | cabe | +0.11 | 71 | 65 |





