








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 487 | 22% |
| Smokes | 833 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 606 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 286 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,267 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabe | 49% | 89 |
| #2 | Footy | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | TazBerg | 45% | 71 |
| #4 | Bernd Ottovord | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cabe | 49% | 89 |
| #2 | Footy | 47% | 60 |
| #3 | TazBerg | 45% | 71 |
| #4 | Bernd Ottovord | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernd Ottovord | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | cabe | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Footy | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | TazBerg | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernd Ottovord | 196 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | cabe | 157 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Footy | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | TazBerg | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vizat | +1.34 | 79 | 49 |
| #2 | TazBerg | +0.59 | 75 | 38 |
| #3 | cabe | -0.04 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Footy | -0.71 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | Bernd Ottovord | -1.12 | 59 | 57 |





