








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1774 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1601 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1440 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,583 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonagar | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | yagucci | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Jorgetron | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Eywin | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonagar | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | yagucci | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Jorgetron | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Eywin | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yagucci | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yagucci | 111 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eywin | 59 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | jonagar | 27 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jorgetron | 23 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poica | +1.48 | 54 | 65 |
| #2 | Jorgetron | +0.34 | 50 | 65 |
| #3 | Eywin | -1.02 | 34 | 57 |
| #4 | jonagar | -1.29 | 29 | 58 |
| #5 | yagucci | -1.48 | 16 | 60 |





