








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5952 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5652 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2914 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4161 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,657 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stroobis | 64% | 99 |
| #2 | Sacralis | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | EmKaaY | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | NOIZEY | 56% | 88 |
| #5 | sukram | 55% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NOIZEY | 56% | 88 |
| #5 | sukram | 55% | 165 |
| #6 | Krugz | 54% | 74 |
| #7 | ATlas | 52% | 27 |
| #8 | ☢GaMMa☢ | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOIZEY | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Krugz | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | sukram | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Sacralis | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ATlas | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOIZEY | 494 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | sukram | 477 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | stroobis | 456 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | Krugz | 293 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sacralis | 254 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MF_DYBBUK | +3.34 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | sukram | +2.11 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | NOIZEY | +1.24 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | ☢GaMMa☢ | +0.48 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | stroobis | -0.01 | 63 | 73 |





