










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1663 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1880 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1798 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 975 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,285 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Eggchan | 41% | 196 |
| #7 | トラックくん | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | Bawas | 33% | 36 |
| #9 | Kai | 30% | 20 |
| #10 | nickels | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyyprr | 5 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Roadkill | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Bawas | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kai | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ElBlendo | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggchan | 814 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | Roadkill | 175 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bawas | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | トラックくん | 66 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ᴍᴏʀᴋ ⛟ | 57 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyyprr | +5.08 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Eggchan | +2.68 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | ElBlendo | +2.10 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | nickels | +1.91 | 83 | 43 |
| #5 | ᴍᴏʀᴋ ⛟ | +1.55 | 24 | 52 |





