








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 568 | 17% |
| Smokes | 836 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1063 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,654 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadinside | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | BenZer | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Stephan | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | ✪ Gessli | 52% | 112 |
| #5 | Apfelele | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Gessli | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Stephan | 3 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | deadinside | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | BenZer | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | z4ne | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Gessli | 444 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | lecker Bierchen enjoyer | 131 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | נυʟıαп | 98 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | z4ne | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Apfelele | 52 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deadinside | +4.36 | 82 | 47 |
| #2 | lecker Bierchen enjoyer | +3.47 | 81 | 78 |
| #3 | ✪ Gessli | +1.39 | 64 | 77 |
| #4 | Apfelele | +1.36 | 79 | 77 |
| #5 | Hupfers Harddl | +1.23 | 61 | 61 |





