








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 791 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 60,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17097 | 28% |
| Smokes | 16528 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12306 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 14738 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,431,284 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3🅳🅴🅰🅶 || Kaala//=* | 1359 | 0.29 | 40 min |
| #2 | DeagHead⁄⁄=* | 1291 | 0.29 | 34 min |
| #3 | arT | 873 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | Vadakkan | 683 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | $Lam | 680 | 0.13 | 17 min |





