








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1062 | 29% |
| Smokes | 946 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 877 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 823 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,882 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weSs+ | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Bolt | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Konky :) | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | BANANABACON | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | ✪ FLIPPY | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LegendRowan | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | epRaa | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | Dikke Vogel | 29% | 7 |
| #10 | entry hond | 17% | 6 |
| #11 | L0xley | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | LegendRowan | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Dikke Vogel | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | 125 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | BANANABACON | 86 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ FLIPPY | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mango | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Konky :) | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | +1.53 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | weSs+ | +1.52 | 90 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪ FLIPPY | +1.49 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Dikke Vogel | +0.60 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | LegendRowan | +0.51 | 65 | 48 |





