








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 658 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,666 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | BANANABACON | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | SHOCKTHERAPY | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | weSs+ | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | ✪ FLIPPY | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | weSs+ | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | ✪ FLIPPY | 50% | 38 |
| #6 | Konky :) | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | DRAKOLA | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | LegendRowan | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHOCKTHERAPY | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | LegendRowan | 3 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | Bolt | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | 200 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | SHOCKTHERAPY | 122 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ FLIPPY | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | BANANABACON | 76 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Konky :) | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FLIPPY | +1.25 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Bolt | +1.14 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | weSs+ | +0.98 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | SHOCKTHERAPY | +0.18 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | Mango | -0.06 | 81 | 52 |





