








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2758 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2133 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3436 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3361 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,283 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EisTee | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | el´Klappstuhl | 60% | 53 |
| #3 | FLReapZz | 58% | 85 |
| #4 | Oni | 57% | 128 |
| #5 | CatDestroyer88 | 56% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oni | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Nals | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | CatDestroyer88 | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | el´Klappstuhl | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Chip | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oni | 308 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nals | 283 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | CatDestroyer88 | 181 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | FLReapZz | 133 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | el´Klappstuhl | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DannyӃ ۵ | +3.47 | 88 | 61 |
| #2 | CatDestroyer88 | +0.86 | 90 | 51 |
| #3 | m0rtiPEEK | +0.29 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Nals | -0.10 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | Oni | -0.45 | 67 | 58 |





