








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 589 | 29% |
| Smokes | 606 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 571 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 246 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,537 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juker | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | CuddlyCamel | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | YoungAcey Never Broke Again | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | TheMightySharkie | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Adrianus // DN | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juker | 3 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | CuddlyCamel | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | YoungAcey Never Broke Again | 2 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juker | 54 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | TheMightySharkie | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | CuddlyCamel | 24 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | YoungAcey Never Broke Again | 20 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | SBK ☠ | 10 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChinChonLeo | +1.96 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | CuddlyCamel | +0.57 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | Juker | +0.50 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | SBK ☠ | -0.02 | 66 | 42 |
| #5 | Adrianus // DN | -0.05 | 75 | 57 |





