








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3462 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3589 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1266 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,182 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valdier | 58% | 121 |
| #2 | Dowsy | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Assi | 55% | 174 |
| #4 | Elisaababe | 54% | 106 |
| #5 | 55gtower | 51% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dowsy | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Assi | 55% | 174 |
| #4 | Elisaababe | 54% | 106 |
| #5 | 55gtower | 51% | 114 |
| #6 | jonzez | 51% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assi | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | jonzez | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | valdier | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Dowsy | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assi | 1046 | 0.28 | 34 min |
| #2 | valdier | 697 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #3 | 55gtower | 273 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Elisaababe | 253 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | jonzez | 161 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assi | +1.46 | 53 | 71 |
| #2 | jonzez | +0.64 | 55 | 57 |
| #3 | Games and Animes <3 | +0.51 | 40 | 66 |
| #4 | valdier | +0.29 | 73 | 77 |
| #5 | Dowsy | -0.26 | 64 | 57 |





