








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 316 | 11% |
| Smokes | 905 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 692 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1035 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,223 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enjov | 46% | 105 |
| #2 | SHADOW | 45% | 40 |
| #3 | Icegold | 42% | 73 |
| #4 | Toby | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 42% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Icegold | 42% | 73 |
| #4 | Toby | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 42% | 113 |
| #6 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 37% | 87 |
| #7 | McLasse | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 47 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 34 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Enjov | 13 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Toby | 13 | 0.0262 |
| #5 | SHADOW | 6 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 289 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Enjov | 172 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Icegold | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | SHADOW | 63 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 51 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toby | +4.22 | 82 | 40 |
| #2 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | +2.70 | 73 | 37 |
| #3 | SHADOW | +2.54 | 80 | 50 |
| #4 | McLasse | +1.52 | 90 | 64 |
| #5 | Enjov | +0.47 | 65 | 64 |





