










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 261 | 12% |
| Smokes | 662 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 571 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,448 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 485 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enjov | 47% | 47 |
| #2 | _FLADE_ | 42% | 73 |
| #3 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 39% | 62 |
| #4 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 38% | 58 |
| #5 | Toby | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | _FLADE_ | 42% | 73 |
| #3 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 39% | 62 |
| #4 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 38% | 58 |
| #5 | Toby | 0% | 4 |
| #6 | McLasse | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 29 | 0.0241 |
| #2 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 23 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | _FLADE_ | 14 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Enjov | 8 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | 174 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Enjov | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | _FLADE_ | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | 29 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | McLasse | 11 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toby | +6.13 | 88 | 40 |
| #2 | TubTheNub KeyDrop.com | +3.34 | 72 | 37 |
| #3 | McLasse | +1.67 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Enjov | +1.40 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | ASAPMEAT Tenderl01n | -0.32 | 61 | 69 |





